It came time for Isaac to get hitched. Abraham, being an unrepentant racist, sent one of his servants to his own country to find a wife of their own kind, rather than allowing his son to marry one of those filthy degenerate Canaanites. So, the servant went off and wandered for a while. Eventually, he found a watering hole. Apparently sick of looking, the servant told God he would take the next woman who showed up at the oasis and bothered to show even the slightest modicum of respect to him and his camels.

Luckily, before long, Rebekah showed up. She not only gave the camels some water, but also had a superfluous "h" in her name, and thus was clearly the right choice for Isaac’s wife.

Abraham’s servant gave Rebekah a bunch of gold jewelry and asked for lodging for the night. Rebekah ran off to ask her brother Laban if the strange man who was giving out jewelry could stay at their house. Noticing the fancy jewelry, Laban decided to let the servant stay.

In need of some filler, the servant proceeded to tell Laban and Rebekah the purpose for his visit in incredibly long-winded fashion. Seriously, he repeated stuff that happened earlier in the chapter almost verbatim.

After hearing a bunch of nonsense about how this strange man had come out of nowhere to take their daughter to some other unknown person, and that she should marry this unknown person, Rebekah’s family did the logical thing and immediately agreed to let her go in hopes of getting some of that choice bling Rebekah had been given. The servant gave them all a bunch of jewels and took off with Rebekah.

So, Rebekah agreed to go wandering off to some strange land for a husband. After many hours of camel riding, Rebekah showed up at Isaac’s place. Rebekah and Isaac then did the deed, after which Isaac didn’t feel so bad about his mother kicking the bucket earlier, thus proving that a good screw makes everything better.