And God told Moses to go fetch his buddies Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu, along with the seventy elders of Israel, and bring them to the mountain so they could worship God from a distance. Moses could go up and hang out with God up close and personal, but everyone else had to stay back, presumably because God had recently developed a large pimple on his nose that he didn't want anyone to see.

So Moses went down to the base of the mountain where all of the Israelites had been waiting, and told them all of the various rules they had to follow which God had relayed to him over the past few chapters, to which the Israelites replied, “Okey-dokey.”

Moses spent the rest of that night writing down all of the laws, which he apparently did from memory. Early the next morning, he built an altar at the base of the mountain with twelve pillars on and/or around it to represent the twelve tribes of Israel. After this, he fetched a bunch of young men to go barbecue some oxen for God, because God was starving after all that dictating he had just been doing.

Moses took half the blood from the slaughtered oxen and put it in basins, and the other half he splashed all over the altar until it looked like the climactic scene from “Carrie”. After he was done throwing blood everywhere, he went down and read the book he had just written to the Israelites, despite the fact that he had already told them everything that was in it the day before. The Israelites replied, “Yeah, we know...we already said okey-dokey, now can we please have some ox meat?”

In reply, Moses took the remainder of the blood and threw it all over the Israelites, to which they replied, “Seriously, what the fuck?”.
Moses said, “Behold, this is the blood of the covenant the Lord has made with you.”
“A little warning before you start throwing blood around would be nice,” replied the Israelites, lamenting the size of their future dry cleaning bills.

Once Moses ran out of blood, he went up to the mountain with Aaron, Nadab, Abihu, and seventy of their closest friends. There they saw God, standing on what appeared to be a road paved with clear sapphire. God did not touch them, but he did share some of his ox meat with them, so they all spent the afternoon eating and drinking and generally carrying on with God.

After everyone had eaten, God told Moses to come up to the top of the mountain alone, where he would be given stone tablets with laws God had written on them, with the understanding Moses would then teach the Israelites these laws. Moses didn't ask why, if God could write this whole time, he hadn't just written all of the previous laws down rather than making Moses memorize them. We can assume Moses was too groggy on ox meat and fermented manna (or whatever people got drunk on in those days) to think of this.

Moses and Joshua, who was apparently also hanging around with the others but hadn't been mentioned until just now, stood up, and Moses went off alone up the mountain. He instructed the other elders to wait there until he got back, and let Aaron and Hur deal with any disputes that might come up while he was gone. He then walked up the mountain, and the mountain was covered in clouds.

The glory of the Lord, presumably the Sun, shone down on Mount Sinai, but Sinai was covered in some low clouds, so the Sun wasn't really doing it any good. The cloud cover remained for six days, during which God hung out up there, occupying himself with activities that probably would have looked suspiciously like gathering firewood if he hadn't been concealed by the clouds. Meanwhile, Moses waited patiently to be called in.

On the seventh day, God told Moses to come on up into the clouds, and the entire top of the mountain suddenly burst into flames, no doubt causing at least a few of the Israelites to soil their newly dry cleaned robes in astonishment.

Moses hung out on the burning mountain for forty days and forty nights, lamenting the fact that he hadn't thought to bring any marshmallows along with him to roast over the giant bonfire God had spent so much time preparing.